Pick Up Lines

"Call me Fred Flinstone, because I can make your Bed Rock"

"We can get married tomorrow, but let's honeymoon tonight"

"Are you a traffic ticket? 'Cause you got FINE written all over you!"

"What's your sign?"

Pick lines are uncomfortable in a normal setting. They are twice as weird in a sex shop. Being a female working at one, I tend to get hit on a lot by men who think that my job makes me more open to sleep with them. A very popular myth, among others. And before you assume this is a post meant to boost my ego: I'm not saying that I'm so hot that guys are just falling over themselves to talk to me; I'm saying I could be a four legged woman, with a third eye, but if I had a nice pair of tits and I was behind the counter, I would still get hit on. It's the appeal of a woman, any woman, in a sex shop. Here are some of the most awkward encounters I've had with my store's wannabe Lotharios:

• "You are very attractive. You look like one of the girls in these movies." (Points to TV playing porn by register)
• "Are you a pornstar?" (Different guy. Maybe they're trying to tell me something, guys)
• "You are too pretty to be working at a place like this."
• "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"
• "Soooo, you new here?"
• "Store looks nice. Mmm...(looks me up and down) you look nice too (NO)
• "How you doin'?'" "Fine." "You lookin' fine."
• "Are those real?" (That one actually set me off, but that's a story for another day)
• "Do you need a new master?" (Nope, all set, thank you)
• "Are you a freak? "Do you like sex?" (Hate it. My whole purpose for working here is to infiltrate and get people to stop having sex)
• "You fly as fuck. What your name is?"
• "Can I have your number?" "No." "Why?" "I have a boyfriend." "We can just be friends." "I have enough friends."
• "How's your day been?" "Long." "That's what's up." "...Ok"
• "Have a beautiful day. Stay beautiful yourself." (There's actually nothing wrong with that one, but just no thank you)
• "What's your name?" "Annette" "You're awesome, mind if I come back looking for you?" "That's a little weird, so no, but you can come back as a customer any time." "Can I just get your number then?" "No."
• "If I went back there (to the arcade), I'd probably jack off just knowing you're out here." (THEN DO IT IN SILENCE. Don't tell me about it!)

So next time a guy comes up to you and gives you some cheesy pick up line (Like my sweater? It's made from boyfriend material), remember it could always be worse. You could have some horny, undersexed guy come in and declare that you have been inducted into his special spank bank...although I've had that happen at a bar too. Dammit.