Unexpected Customers

Hey guys! Sorry about missing Toy Tuesday. I do have good news about that though! Pipedream Products got a hold of my blog and really liked it, so they're sending me certain products from their many toy lines for me to review. Toy Tuesdays are about to get more interesting and better informed. So yay!

For today's topic, since Monday's was such a downer, I wanted to write about something on the brighter side :) Today I'm going to discuss customers I never thought would be into some kinky fuckery. Enjoy!

• The most recent customer was a very cute, wholesome, all-American-looking guy in his 20s who came in looking for something for himself and his new lady friend. I thought he was just getting into soft-core kink, so I tried going soft on him, showing him the edibles section and leaving him to decide. When he came back to the register, he assertively placed some furry handcuffs on the counter and asked if we sold any gags, or cuffs without fur, because the metal ones "have a better bite". Definitely not what I was expecting, but he did kind of reminding me of another attractive, unassuming young man, not that I think he was the type to keep an ax handy.
• This next group has to be my favorite just because they were so unexpected. A group of 5 pasty, nerdy guys in khakis and a small, gentle Asian, girl decked out in pastels and a cardigan draped over her shoulders, came in. They were so young looking, I had to ask for their I.D.s just to make sure they were at least 18. Once inside, seeing that the store was empty, they felt comfortable enough to relate their experiences with various objects in the store in great detail. One of the guys asked me, with a completely straight face, where our largest anal beads were. He said his girlfriend loved them, but they were looking for something a little bigger to fill her insatiable appetite. I just stood fascinated as I listened to this group talk about everything short of a nerd orgy with orcs, acrobatic midgets, and maybe a little "fairy dust". To top it off, the unassuming girl asked me very boldly if we sold anything with a stronger vibration than what we had in the store. She had, literally, used every model we had in stock, and was looking for something with a "stronger kick". Unfortunately, we were out of jack-hammers that day.
• Speaking of Asians, this other girl that came in with her boyfriend was not as adventurous as her predecessor, but she was definitely down for some kinkery. I rang her up for a Rabbit Vibrator, a bullet, flavored condoms, and some heating gel. What was unexpected about her wasn't her purchase, but the fact that she was in here at all. She turned beet red as soon as it came time to pay. The fact that she was an introvert and still willing to come in and try new things, is what made her unexpected, and pretty adorable.
• This next customer, and sometimes regular, was a little uncomfortable to help at at first because of who she looked like. Small, tan and speaking with a thick Latin accent, she reminded me too much of my aunt. My aunt is in her 50s, looks amazing for her age, but is completely oblivious when it comes to sex, or so she makes it seem. When this woman came in, she reminded me of her and I was instantly drawn to give her a little extra help. I spent 20 minutes helping her find the perfect product. Why was it uncomfortable? It wasn't because it was like helping my naive aunt pick out a toy, it's because I was helping her find a harness and strap-on for her to use on her husband. My aunt pegging her husband was not an image I was ready for before lunch-time. Or after, for that matter.
• Now this last one may sound racist, and if it does, I'm sorry, whatever. I couldn't help where my thought were going. A tall, muscular, black male, about 6 ft., came in and bought male enhancement pills and a penis pump. My immediate reaction was bewilderment. A black man with a small dick. It was like looking at a unicorn...with a small penis. Incidentally, I tried to find a picture of a black man with a small penis to wrap this article up, but I couldn't find one. Not. One. But I did mange to find one of a unicorn with one.

You're Welcome

Angry/Rude Customers

Happy Monday, guys! Last week was rough, and last Friday was the worst of it. I had one incident after the other, but the worst by far was a disgruntled, what I imagine, stripper. This woman came in, with her stroller and friend in tow, looking for clear platform stripper heels. She was a size 7 looking for 6 inch heels. Unfortunately, we only had the style she was looking for, in her size, with 7 inch heels. I let her know and she said she didn't mind. I put the sample shoe into the box with its pair and offered her 30% off because it was a sample shoe. She said that she wanted to check out one more store nearby to make sure they didn't have it., so I told her I would hold the shoes for her, although we don't do that. So far, I've done her two favors.
She came back and picked up the shoes and left, without ever having tried them on. 30 minutes later, she called furious, saying that I messed up her purchase and she wanted to just return the package. She said I gave her one size 9, and that she wanted six inch heels, but received 7 inch (even though she agreed to this in the store). I informed her about our no return policy, but I would gladly trade them for the right size.
When she came in, with her child again, she was very nice and apologetic, explaining that she'd had a rough morning because the store that she originally wanted to go to was closed on Friday, and that she was on her period. I helped her find the right size, two size 7s in the 7 inch, and I sent her on her way. 20 minutes she calls back, irate, yelling over the phone, "This is bullshit, you gave me the wrong size again! I'm going to come in and you are going to give me free shoes, because you ruined my order again! Bla...bla...bla...I'm a bitch...bla...". By this point, Ariana arrived at work and got to hear some of the rant. A little bit later, stripper mom comes back in fuming.
She stormed in, berating me, saying the whole situation was "bullshit", I was inept, an idiot, that I ruined not only her day, but her entire life...She also demanded that I give her free merchandise, since I caused her so much pain and suffering. Her whole life was ruined guys. Apparently, the shoe had the wrong sticker on it; it was a size six, not size seven (remember, she never thought to, I don't know, try the shoes on before she paid for them). I tried not to lose it on this nut-job as I scanned the item and had her run her card. Apparently, I was so focused on not beating her to death with a black rubber dildo (a la Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), that instead of returning her cash, I charged her twice. I seriously thought her head was going to explode.

Just like that, but with less clothing

She went full rampage, yelling, crying (no, not crying, sobbing), demanding free shoes, threatening to call my boss (good luck with that lady) and the BBB, suing...she just lost her damn mind. I returned her money immediately and then just let her rant away. I gave her my boss' number and told her the best time to call, and gently sent her on her way.

Too bad this wasn't the first, and won't be the last, time I got a difficult customer. Here are some other angry customers I've had to deal with, and some Facebook posts I put up afterwards.

• The very first angry customer I had was back in May. A man and his girlfriend came in looking for vibrators. I was able to help the girlfriend find the perfect toy, and then it came to helping the guy. He was looking for a male vibrator, something similar to a pocket pussy. I had just started a month ago, so my product knowledge wasn't very extensive. I offered him a Tenga Flip-hole, thinking that it vibrated and rang them up. The couple was very happy with how much time I spent with them, and how open I was about the products. I thought it was a job well done. Well, the toy didn't vibrate and the customer was pissed. I guess he threw a temper tantrum, especially after my manager offered him a credit card with store credit instead of his money back. He ended up throwing the gift card to our window cleaner saying he wasn't going to "ever use this shit". Needless to say, my screw up became a nice little present, because my manager and I were able to buy ourselves some pretty nice vibrators with it.
• During the summertime, I had a strange looking guy come in, freaking out because he didn't like the quality of a bullet that he had bought. He stood at the counter for half an hour, complaining about how soft the vibration was, and that his girlfriend wasn't able to get off with it. Seriously, half an hour to complain about a product that we had no control over.
• In August, an upper class, married couple came in to get some marital aids. I was very patient with them, and helped answer any questions they may have had, since it was their first time buying toys. The husband was pretty taciturn and clipped, so I tried to help them find whatever they needed quickly. Once it came to lubricants, I handed them over to Tati, who they were very rude to. Once it came to ringing them up, they were suddenly in a huge rush. I had to test the toys to make sure they were working, which led to sighs, grunts, and rushing. He snapped at me for not testing them fast enough, and again for taking, seriously, more than 5 seconds to put all the products in the bag. The husband was super rude, and was so pushy, that I pulled all the items back out to check them out and then put them back in. Eventually, he yelled at me saying that it was "embarrassing to be seen in this shop", and then threw his money at me, without waiting for the change. This was FB post that followed:
• "Just because you're embarrassed because you've never been to a sex shop, doesn't mean you can behave like a complete PRICK and snap at me to hurry. Rudest customer I've had so far. Next time, I'll scream out, "Hey Tatiana, can you get a price check on the MONSTER vibrator with the suction cup and the vibrating clit dolphin in red?! As well as the cherry flavored lube??" Douchebag. I hope his bag breaks on the way to his house."
• This is more of a general angry customer that we've all had, and I'll keep it short because this post is already so long. Any time we are out of a toy or product, we have to hear about it, over and over, and over again from irate customers. I seriously don't know how people can get that angry about cock rings.
• I like it when people at work come up to me to ask for a certain toy, and then when I tell them I don't have it, they just stand there awkwardly. Their whole day was ruined because we didn't have any french ticklers left."

I think the "customer is always right" policy warrants some customers to act like complete morons, and should be more of a suggestion, than a rule. If you work in retail, you know what I mean. Can someone make a Yelp page where we rate the customer?

End rant. It was pretty long, sorry.

Jack-off Eric?

Jack-off Jason is so last year. Now we have a new horny, phone perv to listen to. Eric. I have yet nickname him, but Ariana is on her way to work, and I'm sure we'll think of something.

Same spiel as Jason, he calls in, asks me questions about myself, and then jacks off until he cums. I don't know how the crazies find us, but find us they do. If Eric calls back, again, you will be the first to know. Hopefully, he'll be as funny as Jason.

It's been decided. He will now be known as Erotic Eric. Erotic Eric, if you are out there, make sure to call us again next Friday so I can post it here.

Fetish Friday: Menophilia

Hello Everyone! I've had one hell of a week, and I could not be happier it's finally Friday! Today, I had a conversation with a friend, who until, kind of, recently, lost his virginity. He just started dating a girl that he really likes and they have begun to have sex. Unfortunately, she just got that special visit we girls get every month that tend to fuck up your sex life. He wanted to know if you can still have sex even though she's on her period. I told him that some people don't like to, and some people don't mind it. Then there are the people that really, really like to. You kids know what's coming. You might want to put your lunch away for this one.

Today's Fetish: Menophilia

Menophilia is the sexual attraction to period blood.
Sorry guys. At least it's not coprophilia (poop fetish). Fetish Friday's all about learning obscure or interesting fetishes out there, and I think menophilia definitely makes that cut.

Menophiliacs are aroused by having sex (oral or penetrating) with women on their periods, and/or licking tampons/pads/used underwear. Menophilia can be found in women, straight or gay, but has been suggested to be a mostly male-dominated fetish. Some have speculated that some men are attracted to menstrual blood because they are envious of women's ability to be in constant preparation of fertilization. The same people who formed this theory (from a website for menophiliacs that has since been deleted), mentioned that it is very easy for menophiliacs to find willing participants to have sex with since, normally, most men are turned off by having sex with a woman on her period.

The origin of menophilia is a little fuzzy, but it is suggested that it started where all good, sane ideas are created. With the Hell's Angels. If you've ever heard the term "Red Wings", you can thank the Angels for that one. For those of you who don't know what that is, first off, you should count yourself lucky because it probably means you've never done it, and secondly, it's when you go down on a woman during her period. The term was pretty obscure, only used by Hell's Angels members, until acid/mescaline enthusiast Hunter S. Thompson wrote a book about his experiences with the gang. Soon after that, other writers learned about "Red Wings", and the term became mainstream. Now frat boys everywhere can thank Hunter for their wings,  and women can continue hating him for that god-awful haircut on Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing.

If you're not sold on the idea, there are plenty of websites that gives lots of reasons why period sex is underrated. And if you don't do it because you don't know how to go about it, then there is a website for that as well.

As for me, I don't enjoy period sex. I've tried laying a towel down, and I've tried doing it in the shower, but honestly, I'm not in the best mood during that time and the cramps are horrible; the last thing I want is something jamming what should be coming out, back in. Sorry, for the image guys. Point is, I don't like it, but if that's your thing, go crazy! Hopefully I won't find you guys licking any used pads anytime soon, since I don't know how hygienic that is, but other than that, go get your kink on!

For videos

For more images

Of course there would be a rock song dedicated to menophilia

I'm sorry, but that's hilarious

Product Knowledge

On days that are a little slower, like today, I tell the girls who work here to do some product knowledge research, so they can learn while they get paid. This is my favorite thing to do when the store is empty, besides writing here ;). Now, I've mentioned Pipedream Products a few times before, and how their products rock. They have an awesome website that not only includes their merchandise, it also includes great instructional videos.

So back to the slow day. The other day, I decided it would be a good idea to watch some of their videos on their Extreme Fetish Fantasy lines. I had customers that would come in, think that I was watching porn and think nothing of it, and it's happened to me before. I've had to look at product magazines to see what new items we can get in the store, items like, penis shafts, sub and dom outfits, transvestite Real Feel dolls, jelly dildos, you name it. Pretty much, my point is, that only at this job could I get paid to watch porn, and have it increase sales.

Not too shabby. Have fun at your desk job, where you can get paid to watch porn, but you'll mostly likely get fired if caught :)

If you're curious about the videos, here they are.

New Facebook Page

Hey guys! So I know today is Toy Tuesday, but I failed! I was going to write about Ben Wa balls, but I forgot to put them in today to test them out. Sorry about that. However, I was productive. Introducing, Sex Shop Chronicle's new Facebook page! I'll keep you guys posted there about any new posts I write for the blog or fun pictures I find. As you may or may not have noticed, I don't post on Wednesdays anymore, so stay tuned for Thursday's post, and come back on Tuesday for my review on Ben Wa balls.

In the meantime, here's a picture of a DVD we received not too long ago for furry women enthusiasts.

Stolen

Hi everyone! Hope you've all had an amazing 3-day weekend. I've been busy, busy, busy with both jobs, but it's been fun. I didn't get the day off but I did have an interesting surprise waiting for me when I got to work this morning. I showed up and saw this on the back counter:

Those are all empty boxes of items that have been stolen. Now, I've worked at other retail jobs where I've had clothing, or lingerie, or trinkets stolen before, but I've never realized the desperation of some people when it comes to not paying for shit. Are you that desperate for sexual gratification that you need to steal a pocket pussy? You can't afford to buy a $5.00 DVD? And what's the deal with the dice?? You can't even get off to that! They are just a pair of dice shaped like boobs.

The other question that arises is, how do you make it out of the shop with that on you? Where do you put it? It's not like we don't have security cameras. I came to work to find 4 pocket pussies, 2 DVDs, 1 vibrator, and 1 pair of boobie dice missing. How is that even possible??

Apparently, theft is an issue no matter where you work, but it's just more amusing when you work at a sex shop. But come one guys, at least pay for what your willing to shove into your body.

End rant. Have a good night! See you tomorrow :)

Fetish Friday: Psychrophilia

Happy Friday everyone! I'm so happy the weekend is almost here. Normally, if the weather were nicer, I would go out and tan, but seeing as it's still a little chilly out, I might have to wait a week or two before I can stay outside for more than 20 minutes. This got me thinking, "How do people love the cold so much?", and that led to "I wonder if anyone has a fetish for being cold?"...That was a stupid question.

Of course there is.

Today's Fetish: Psychrophilia

Psychrophilia is the the sexual arousal of being cold or watching others freeze. Just like with hierophilia, it's a little difficult to find a lot of information on psychrophilia. What I did find, though, is that this fetish is not limited to just outdoor interactions. As long as the person is freezing by some method, it'll get someone off; however, snow, ice, and cold water tend to be the popular instruments of choice. While some "freezing-cold" porn shows women happily freezing themselves, other psychrophiliacs prefer women being frozen against their will. The latter can be found discussing these preferences on BDSM forums.

Although limited, what I did find was pretty amusing. There is even a Facebook page dedicated to 1997's Batman and Robin character, Mr. Freeze, and his ice fetish. If you think about it, this fetish is pretty common, in varied degrees, but it's pretty mainstream. Many people use ice in their sex life quite frequently; either because they love the way the cold contrasts the heat of their body, or the way their partners nipples/hair/skin tingle on contact. Many publications, such as Cosmopolitan and Redbook suggest using ice on their partners during sex. I know I've used this trick quite a few times, and I've yet to receive a complaint.

You know what? Maybe psychrophilia isn't so crazy after all. I mean, I'm not saying I'm going to go have sex with a popsicle now, but let's just say, I get where psychrophiliacs are coming from. If I can enjoy using ice, why can't they get off by seeing women submerged in it? I don't know about you guys, but I might start to appreciate the cold more. Now go get your kink on!

Just don't catch a cold!

Here's some more info for you guys:

Videos

Pictures

Fan page

Btw...when I typed "Frozen Fetish", i got this. Moms, please don't.

Happy Valentine's Day

Geez Louise, half-way through my shift and already we've had a huge influx of people buying last minute Valentine's Day gifts! Here's a list of must haves the kids are buying today:

• Edible anything: body butter, massage oils, underwear, condoms (edible, not flavored), and oral gels
• Lingerie (obviously)
• Board games. Favorites so far: Kama Sutra playing cards, Boobie Match Game, and role-play games
• I.O.U cards and sex coupons
• Dildos/vibrators galore
• DVDs and lube for those forever alone (I don't know why, but buying them today just makes it that much more depressing)
• And my favorite: A lover's kit, complete with thigh cuffs, whips, and a heart-shaped cushion. What'd I say on Toy Tuesday?

If you still haven't bought anything for your sweetie, and will be celebrating with them (my boyfriend and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day), swing by your local sex shop and make sure to buy something! It's getting pretty crazy here!

Happy Valentine's Day

P.S.: Right before I posted this, I legitimately just had, what I guess was, an Italian-American man in his late 40s ask me for decorating tips for his penis cake. Apparently, black sprinkles are the best solution for realistic hairy balls.

Toy Tuesday: Restraints

Hi Guys! Happy Mardi Gras! Does anyone have any fun plans for tonight? Unfortunately, I won't be go-go dancing at the event this year, but I will be downtown getting people to come in to the bar I work at. Hopefully I still get to see some action. Anyhoo, it's time for Toy Tuesday. Since Valentine's Day is coming up on Thursday, I thought I'd rate a product that works for both sexes. Very couple oriented.

Today's Toy: Restraints

Because nothing is sexier than restraining the one you love while making love to them, so they can't leave, right?

Actually, restraints are a lot of fun to use, as long as you are safe, and trust the person you use them with. These toys are the essential tool for bondage, as bondage is the tying, binding, or restraining of a person for the sexual, aesthetic, and/or psychological pleasure of the parties involved. Restraints are huge in the gay and BDSM communities, and are great for expert and novice bondage enthusiasts.

Restraints are not gender-specific and can be used by anyone, with anyone. There are many, many different types of restraints, including mouth, thigh, neck/face, and full body restraints. I'm going to list the most popular, or common to find, "limb restraints".

• Metal Handcuffs: Depending on the quality of handcuffs, they can be easy, tear-away cuffs that don't require keys, or heavy-duty police-grade handcuffs. The metal tends to bite, so I recommend these to those who are into pain.

• Furry Handcuffs: On the other hand, if you are looking to use handcuffs, but don't want the sting, furry cuffs are the way to go. Some come with faux-fur sleeves that can be removed (which makes clean-up a cinch!), and others come with authentic fur, such as rabbit or mink. Without going too much into the politics, I highly push you to use the faux-fur; they still feel amazing and don't hurt any woodland creatures trying to get it on, themselves.

• Soft Restraints: Soft restraints are the best compromise, especially for beginners, because they still hold you down, but are extremely comfortable. They normally come with velcro closures and velvet or silk linings. They are the easiest to use.

• Under-the-Bed Restraints: These restraints look just like the soft restraints above, but are joined by five tethers that can be placed under a mattress. Although it may seem like a little more work, these restraints are great for people with out headboards or bed posts. You could always just leave them tucked under the mattress and pull out the extensions when needed.

• Silk Pleasure Ties: This is a more luxurious alternative to rope, and, as I've come to learn, is very popular with married women, 30 years and up. These ties are just a simple silk ribbon that can be used anywhere, and sometimes, they even have loops for easier tying (as seen below). Lelo is known for it's luxurious designs; you can find this particular design there.

• Bondage Tape: Bondage tape is for those who want to be tied up tightly, without the pain. This method restricts movement greatly since it is normally wrapped tightly so the person can't slip out. Bondage tape has a great advantage over regular tape since it only adheres to itself; it will not stick to skin, hair, or clothing. A great alternative to bondage tape, if you don't want to spend the extra cash, is Saran Wrap. It works exactly the same.

• Japanese Rope: This is, aesthetically, my favorite form of bondage. The rope normally comes in cotton or silk, and can be fashioned in a number of ways. This method of restraint, as the name says, originates from Japan and has evolved into quite the artform. Fetish models such Dita von Teese have included rope bondage into their portfolio, and there are books that can teach you how to use this medium. I haven't used rope, yet, but I wouldn't be opposed to doing a photoshoot about it sometime in the future.

• Hog-tie: Another Dita shot, hog ties are the "cheat sheet" for Japanese rope bondage. You get the same effect you would with rope, but it is a lot easier to get in and out of. If you've ever lived on a farm, I'm sure you get the gist of this restraint. If not, check the out the Dita von Teese picture mentioned before for a visual.

• Spreader Bar: This is the next restraint on my list of "things I need to use during sex". The image is pretty self-explanatory. I plan on making a full Toy Tuesday about it, when I do eventually use it.

With the amount of products that exist out there for bondage, it would be impossible to list them all, but if you are interested in seeing what else is out there, Pipedream Products has an amazing selection of beginner, intermediate, and extreme bondage fetishists.

When using restraints, remember, the most important part is to remain safe. If you don't feel like you know or trust your partner enough to lose control with them, skip these toys and try something else. Due to all the variations in restraints, each one is used differently, but the main rule is to never tighten too much. Whenever you tie someone up, whether it's with cuffs, ropes, or ties, there should always be enough room afterwards to fit one finger in between the gap. If not careful, this could cut off circulation and become very painful.

Some people, though not everyone, use restraints in order to enact rape fantasies, so this is why I keep reiterating how careful you have to be when using them. It is very easy to lose control and cross the line. When restraining someone, these are good rules to follow:

• Never leave the person, with the restraints on, alone while tied up.
• Have a safe word. Every one has one, and you should too.
• Do not fall asleep with the restraints; they shouldn't be left on for more than an hour at a time, per position.
• Do not tie the person up in a position that restricts their breathing.
• Try to use while being sober. Do not use while on drugs or excessive alcohol as this can impair your ability to judge pain.
• Make sure that in case of an emergency, the person can be freed from their restraints. In order to do this, check that you have the right keys or scissors on hand.
• If you feel any pain, discomfort, or numbing, remove the restraints immediately.

Cleaning depends on the material used for each restraint. This website explains how to clean metal handcuffs very well. If your cuffs have fur, the fake and detachable kind can be washed by hand, while real fur may have special care needs. For cotton and silk ties/ropes, just follow whatever cleaning care the fabric requires. Restraints are a very easy toy to maintain; they are, normally, not in situations that require much cleaning afterwards, and they are made to withstand plenty of abuse.

I think restraints are a ton of fun, as long as you are safe with them. The first time I tried them was with my current (first and only) boyfriend. It's something fun that you can use to quickly up the ante on your sex life. I recommend this for people who have some previous experience with toys, or are open to kinkier options. It's an easy way to be naughty without having to add candle wax, nipple clamps, or whips, not that there's anything wrong with that ;).

Difficulty to use:

In terms of cuffs, ties or soft restraints, it's not the putting on that's difficult. It's the taking off part that you have worry about. When it comes to ropes, I would say difficulty can go up to a 5.

Versatility:

There are so many varieties of restraints that I haven't even mentioned. You can take them anywhere and pretty much use them on anything if you're creative enough.

My Rating: 

I absolutely love them. My only issue with them is, I can't keep them on for too long

This website has good ratings and info on the Japanese ropes.

Boyfriend's Rating:

"Great when used with leg restraints"

Fetish Friday: Aquaphilia

Hi everyone! If you are not in San Diego right now, let me tell you that it does not rain often, but when it does, it makes me so happy. I'm from Miami and Costa Rica, so I'm used to heavy rain and heavier humidity. Moving from Costa Rica to San Diego was a major change in terms of weather alone. Today, I wouldn't say it's pouring, but the sprinkling is appreciated. I love the rain, water in general actually, but I don't think I could ever love it as much as the people I'm going to talk about today.

Today's Fetish: Aquaphilia

Aquaphilia is the sexual arousal of water, or under-water activities. This can include the water itself, or in receptacles, such as bathtubs, pools, grottoes, the beach, and lakes, or people doing activities in the water, such as swimming, posing, or having sex. The people in the water can be dressed or nude, depending on preference.

Aquaphiles can be aroused by, images or videos, or having sex in/masturbating with water, but what separates these fetishists from others is there is no need for raunchiness to get them going. Some aquaphiles are aroused by straight-up, hardcore sex under water, but many are stimulated from beautiful images, some of which could be considered art.

The term "aquaphile" was coined in the late 1990's, when Phil Bolton created an online magazine, Aquaphiles Journal of underwater erotica. It has since been studied by doctors and sexologists alike, including Dr. Corinne Lamberth, Brenda Love, Ph.D., Katherine Ramsland, Dr. Adrian Furnham and Dr. Viren Swami.

Because there are so many options when it comes water sex, there are other terms for aquaphilia or its sub-categories:

• Albutophilia: Sexual arousal from water
• Ablutophilia: Sexual arousal from baths or showers
• Antiohilia: Sexual arousal from floods
• Coitobalnism: Sex in a bath tub
• Coitus a unda: Sex under water
• Bidetonism: Using the water spray from a bidet to stimulate a woman's genitals while masturbating

Another genre, or sub-category of aquaphilia is the "wetlook". This is the additional arousal of seeing people wearing clothing in the water. Some specify what type of clothing they like (wedding dresses, suits, white tops, evening gowns, etc.), and others just enjoy the sight of wet fabric clinging to an attractive woman or man. Wetlooks can also be divided into different types (this can apply to the fetishists themselves or the object(s) of their desire):

• Stay wets: These fetishists enjoy being wet themselves. They are not particular about how they get wet, they just enjoy being wet. This can include getting in the shower, a pool, or jumping in the rain. Some are known to go to bed like this.
• Get wets: On the other hand, "Get-wetters" enjoy the act of getting wet. They will often dry off and change into new, dry clothing to experience getting wet over and over again, until achieving an orgasm.
• Jumpers: Jumpers like the surprise of suddenly being soaked. One jumper described it as "being caught in a situation of no way out and no turning back".
• Walkers: Contrasting jumpers, walkers prefer to get wet slowly, as suspense is part of the arousal. They like to know that there is a point of turning back, but they are breaking through some kind of limit. Some can take as long, or longer, than an hour to get completely soaked.

The first time I ever heard of anyone with a water fetish, was while watching The Forty Year Old Virgin's movie commentary. Seth Rogen and Steve Carell mention that their co-star, Elizabeth Banks', favorite sexual fantasy is her lying naked on the beach and having the ocean go down on her. I will admit, that does sound pretty interesting; that's a lot of power on one point. It gives Singing in the Rain a whole new perspective. 

I think aquaphilia "porn" is one of the most graceful and artistically appealing fetishes since water tends to make the body's movement seem ethereal. There is a bunch of images and videos for all you aquaphiles out there, all you have do is look for it. Now, all this water talk makes me want to go take a shower, so I'll see you guys later. Go get your kink on!

Click for more videos!

and for more info, come here!

French woman on the bidet

Mom's Visit

As I mentioned last Thursday, my mom came to visit San Diego a few weeks ago. I'm very lucky, my mom's pretty amazing, and she has always been very supportive of whatever I'm doing. I've mentioned before, that I've had awkward interactions with family members when it comes to my job. Thankfully, my mom has a good sense of humor and finds my job amusing, at times, especially when she comes to visit. So here are a few instances of funny experiences my mom had with my store.

• The first time she came by to visit the store, I was a little busy with customers so I told her to just walk around and see what she can find. Once I was done ringing customers up, I see that she slowly made her way back up to where I was, pretty expressionless. When I asked her what her initial reaction of the store was, she said "What do people need so many penises for?"
• On another day, when she came in, she wanted to look around again to see what else she could find. I guess we have something for everyone, because my mom is obsessed with hippopotamuses. What did she find? A hippopotamus vibrator. The thing is, this thing doesn't even look like a vibrator. Of course it cracked her up, but I think a little piece of her died that day. Poor, cute, little hippo.
• Ok, so I obviously have quite a few toys if I work at a sex shop. Thankfully, toys have become more and more discreet, so it's easier to feel less ashamed about purchasing a toy. However, it is also a hindrance because other people won't know what it is and touch it. I had just purchased one of Pipedream's 3-speed bullets (which are amazing by the way), and I was keeping it in my makeup bag (you never know when you'll need it). During one of my days off, my mom and I were getting ready to go shopping downtown and my mom asked to borrow some mascara. When she found my toy, she pulled it out and exclaimed, "What a gorgeous shade of lipstick! May I borrow some?" To my amusement, I let her know that that was not lipstick (thankfully it was still unused). It took her second to understand what it was, but once she realized it, the look on her face was pretty funny.
• Finally, on the last day she was here, she came by to buy some stuff for her friend's birthday. Her friend has an amazing sense of humor so it was fun to look for something for her. Ultimately, we chose to get her a "lollicock". Last Thursday came around and I had to drop my mom off at the airport, unfortunately. Later that night, she told me that by the time she got to airport security, she had forgotten about the lollipop. The TSA noticed something irregular in her bag and had my mom open it so they could go through it. At this point, she remembered the gift and had to stand there while this woman went through her bag, only to retrieve a massive purple cock. At least the TSA woman was nice about it, and my mom went out with a bang.

I'm sad she had to leave so soon, but I'm glad we got to hang out as much as we did. Here's a picture of my mom and me being tourists at the Museum of Man. Shout out to Costa Rica! :)

Toy Tuesday: Cock Rings

Good afternoon everyone! So today is the day. I'm very excited to introduce Toy Tuesdays; now I will be able to answer any questions you may have about certain toys. Feel free to leave any questions in the comment section if I forgot to mention something, or you want to know more. :)

Today's Toy: Cock Rings

Cock rings are rings that are placed around a man's penis to increase size and stamina. It constricts blood flow, trapping it in the shaft for a prolonged sexual experience and heightened orgasms. Allegedly, cock rings were first created in China, where men would use jade, ivory, or more popularly, goat eyelids (eyelashes included), due to their elasticity. (I can hear hipsters now, saying, "I used to use jelly cock rings, but now everyone uses them, so I only use goat eyelids. You've probably never even seen one. Excuse me, I'm going to go fuck my girlfriend on a penny-farthing, while taking pictures of her with my daguerreotypes camera, and listen to Mumford & Sons before they become more mainstream.") Nowadays, cock rings are made from a variety of materials including leather, nylon, rubber, jelly, silicone, metal, plastic, and glass. Most cock rings are not adjustable, so it's very important that you're aware of what size you need before shopping, since they come in a variety of sizes. If you are not sure or would like to be able to adjust the ring, there are places you can go to.

Cock rings are meant to be used by men for masturbation or with a partner, and there are a variety of different types to choose from.

• Basic: This is just a simple cock ring made from any of the materials mentioned above and is used mainly to prolong sex. This is recommended for men who have ED. This cock ring can come in a variety of sizes.

• Adjustable: This is the only cock ring that can be purchased, regardless of penis size, as it allows the wearer to tighten or loosen the ring to fit just right. I like to call it the Goldilocks (Yeah, that exists). These are most commonly made from nylon, rubber or silicone.

• Teardrop: This cock ring is unlike any of the others, as it's designed to stimulate the perineum (that special spot between your balls and anus...fellas). It hugs the base of the penis and cradles the scrotum while hitting your man's g-spot. To learn how to use it properly, visit this site. Teardrop cock rings come in metal or silicone.

• Vibrating: Now this is the best option for couples and it stimulates both parties. When used between a man and woman, the bullet (the vibrating part) goes on the woman's clitoris, while the man receives the vibrations on his shaft as well. Vibrating cock rings are the most assorted type of ring and can come with such variations as dual bullets for her clit and his taint, a dolphin for a more intense clitoral stimulation, or dual rings to go over his shaft and balls. When used between two men, the dual bullet model is the most effective as it stimulates the wearer's shaft and the receiver's anus. For women using a non-vibrating dildo, the dolphin or rabbit rings are the best. Vibrating cock rings are often made from silicone, jelly, or plastic.

• Triple crown (or Triple cock ring): This one makes me chuckle a little, because one of my boyfriend's favorite bars to go to with his friends is The Triple Crown, so now I don't know if I'll ever see it the same way again. (Hey babe, the bar you go to is named after something that goes on a guy's dick) Anyway, this cock ring has two additional rings for restraining testicles. By not allowing a man's testicles to retract towards the body during an orgasm, this intensifies the sensation and makes a man cum harder.

• Inflatable: These are actually pretty rare to find. I haven't found any information on it, but by all means try it out. I couldn't find a picture of it, so I thought you'd appreciate a picture of an inflatable pool ring. Look at how cute it is.

I watch you masturbate :)

So now that you know about the different kinds, and there are a lot, you should know that there is a right and wrong way to use every toy.

When using a cock ring, the penis should always be flaccid (It just makes it easier to put on), and you should also use  lubricant, as a dry application tends to chafe. When putting the ring on, make sure to place it at the base of the penis, behind the balls. It's not wrong to put it on the shaft, but it's more probable it'll slip off during sex. You can also apply it on the scrotum, or the base and the scrotum if you have a dual ring. If you use rings frequently, make sure to shave.

When using it, remember that cock rings are meant to restrict blood flow, so make sure to use it no more than thirty minutes at a time. Never use it while on drugs, and never fall asleep with it on. Cock rings should never hurt or feel uncomfortable. If you feel or see any numbing, discomfort, paleness, or excess bulging, remove the ring immediately. If you have any blood or heart diseases, do not use cock rings. These toys are meant for fun, not health scares, so make sure to use them infrequently unless you consulted a professional first.

Cleaning should be pretty simple for your toy. If the ring is glass or metal, you can boil it for 2-3 minutes. This cleans and sanitizes it. If your toy is silicone, rubber, plastic, or jelly, wash it with antibacterial soap and warm water. For leather, apply hydrogen peroxide with a clean towel and saddle soap. Make sure to clean your toy after every use, especially the porous ones, since germs and bacteria can fester in them.

Overall, I think cock rings are awesome! My boyfriend and I used Screaming O's single bullet vibrating cock ring and it was pretty impressive and fun. It's easy to use and something both he and I can enjoy. I recommend it for couples who have never used a toy before and are nervous. This is a good way to introduce something new into the bedroom without being intimidated, and for couples with more experience, this always hits the spot ;)

Difficulty to use:

Pretty easy as long as you use lube

Versatility:

It's pretty straight up. Many options to choose from, but they all do the same thing

My Rating:

Speaking about the vibrating ones, I love them! Not too fancy, but they get the job done.

Boyfriend's rating:

His words: "It feels amaaaazing"

If you want to learn how to use the cock ring, this video is pretty helpful

1500 views

Thanks guys! We made it past 1,500 views! I really want to thank everyone for taking the time to read the blog; it's been a lot of fun to write, and I'm glad you have been so receptive to it. As a reminder, tomorrow I will be starting Toy Tuesday, where I'll review toys that we sell. I'll explain what they are, who they are for, and what they're like. Hopefully this will be as successful as Fetish Fridays. Stay tuned, tomorrow we're going to learn about cock rings.

As a thank you, here is a picture of me and travel-size Leroy kickin' it.

Leroy's super excited!

Fetish Friday: Vorarephilia

Happy Friday everyone! Last night after work, my boyfriend and I watched an episode of The IT Crowd titled "Moss and the German". In it, Moss believed he answered an ad to attend a German cooking class, when in reality it was an ad for a German man who was looking for someone to eat. This reminded me of a very real fetish that, thankfully, is mostly kept in the fantasy realm.

Today's Fetish: Vorarephilia

Vorarephilia, sometimes shortened to vore, is the sexual desire to eat a person or to be eaten. Since this practice is illegal, vorarephiliacs have to content themselves to acting out their desires through games, stories, and images. However, there are cases of people attempting to cross over the lines between desire and action. Albert Fish is a notorious serial killer who, after being examined, was diagnosed with vorarephilia, among other paraphilias. His victims of choice were children, and he claimed to have had around 100 victims.

But, before you go attributing this fetish to cannibals, many vorarephiliacs are also sexually aroused by animals being eaten by other animals (I wonder if Animal Planet is like their Skinemax). In fact, sometimes preds (those who like to eat, hence "predators") don't even need to be the ones eating to be aroused; the victims may be eaten by other people, animals, and/or fantastical creatures. This fetish can also be argued to be an extension of macrophilia (A sexual fantasy involving giants. A fetish for another day).

Vorarephiliacs may specify how and what they enjoy watching being eaten, such as genitals, breasts, the body as a whole, or in bits, but for the most part, Vorarephilia can be categorized into two groups:

• Hard Vore: This genre is more violence driven than sensual. Here, the victim is put through a severe amount of pain while being consumed. Tearing, biting, chewing, ripping, cutting, and excessive gore are all characteristics of hard vore. For obvious reasons, this category may be considered a form of sadism.
• Soft Vore: On the other hand, soft vore is much more sexually driven as the person or thing is consumed as a whole. There is little to no pain, and in the majority of cases, the person being eaten eventually dies of asphyxiation in the body. The video game in the link above is an example of soft vore.

Even though vorarephiliacs are restricted from acting this fetish out for legal and moral reasons, there is an abundance of material to satisfy any vore-lover's appetite. Since this is a fetish that can harm or, ultimately, kill people, I urge anyone interested in this paraphilia to remain in the realm of fantasy. As long as you're not serving your family members to guests, then knock yourself out. Now, go get your kink on! Bon appetit!

For more info/images/stories on vorarephilia: 

http://drmarkgriffiths.wordpress.com

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vorarephilia

http://ficly.com/tags/vorarephilia

Fashionable take on vorarephilia

An example of soft vore

An example of hard vore

Dalí's take on vorarephilia