Fetish Friday: Arachnophilia

Good Lord, it feels like I haven't done a Fetish Friday in forever! So I'm just going to cut to the chase and tell you what it is. I have no idea why I chose this one, but I'm glad I did.

Today's Fetish: Arachnophilia

Spiders! Arachnophiles love to play, touch, fuck, or fantasize about spiders. I don't mean some guy dressed as Spiderman, I mean legit, furry, creepy-crawly, spiders. There aren't many studies on the subject, since it isn't considered a problem until the kinkster feels the need to reach out for help, so I couldn't find too much information on it. What I did find was porn, a lot of it. Apparently spiders are the thing to do.

Some arachnophiles get off by watching videos or by simply stroking/petting the eight legged object of their desire. And as always, there are stories of people fulfilling these fantasies.

And because it can always get weirder, there is an extension of arachnophilia called "Spider Web Binding". It's the same exact concept as regular binding, but instead of using rope or ties, you use spider's silk...obviously. Let me tell you, people lose their shit over this. There is a lot of fan art on the subject.

Alright, how do I even wrap this one up, guys? I guess if you're going to fuck a spider, make sure it's not radioactive or poisonous? I don't know what to tell you... if you fuck spiders, there's nothing I can really say to help. Now go get your kink on!

Here's the full video

Throwback Thursday

Hey guys! Sorry I went MIA for a little while there. I had family come in to town so I took the week off, but I'm back and ready to entertain you again! In the spirit of Throwback Thursday, I've decided to find some old school sex toys that your grandparents probably enjoyed. You're welcome.

If you've ever used a mini-mite, you might have more in common with your grandmother than you thought

Butt plugs, anyone?

Cock rings, cock cages and penis extensions galore! 

The forefather of dildo machines everywhere

Swingers

So I just had a bizarre encounter of the kinky kind.

As usual, I was at the register minding my own business, thinking about what story to write about, when a man and woman walk in. First thing the guy says is, "Do I have to put my top on? I really don't want to". I said, screw it, we're so close to the beach it doesn't matter. The woman proceeded to walk around the store while the guy came straight up to me and asked if we carry Magnum condoms. I told him we didn't and he was very disappointed. He kept going on about how sad he was that we didn't carry them, and what an amazing problem having a huge penis was. When I offered 711 as a viable option, he told me he didn't want to buy from "the man".

Then, he switched gears and told me he was recovering from a surgery on his lower intestine, and said, "Can I show you something without you getting offended?". This is when I knew there was no going back. This was going to be an interesting couple. He pointed out his wife (up until that point, I thought he was gay), and then lamented that because his recovery time (9 months, and still 3 weeks to go) was so long he wasn't able to work out. Apparently, he's 49, and I'm not going to lie, he did look pretty good. With the mention of age, however, he did fish for compliments. "I look so bad now. I normally really get into shape....I'm so high right now".

Ok. This lead to a conversation that bounced between him knowing the owner of Cross Fit, being a Tae Kwan Do master, mentioning how sexy I am and how all his girlfriends have been "exotic like you". I asked why he decided to marry a white woman, and her response after he called her over was, "Because there is more to me than my looks". I'm sorry lady, it's not my fault your husband is trying to bang me over the register. Then he shooed her away so we could keep talking! Shooed! He wanted to know if I ever partied in the area, which as fate would have it, I am today. He asked with who, "boys or girls?", and before he could finish, "The reason I ask is...", a customer came in and interrupted his thoughts.

After she left, he brought up one of the penis pillows and told me he uses a pillow to cover his scar for fear of it exploding or bleeding to death, due to sneezing or coughing. Quite the turn on. "Sorry if I offend you. I'm really high". His wife finally decided to buy some Nag Champa incense and put in on the counter while he said "I'm disappointed there is nothing in the store I want...except you", and then kicked his wife out of the store so she could "wait for [him] outside".

While paying, he said he wanted to take me out sometime and buy me beer, then maybe educate me and possibly my friends because he is older. I rapidly mentioned my boyfriend, so he thanked me for being honest and told me to order some Magnum condoms for next time.

Oh Lord, please don't let there be a next time.

Toy Tuesday: Lubricant

Hi guys! For today's Toy Tuesday, I'm going to talk about a product that isn't really considered a toy, but it enhances the sexual experience, and in some cases, is a necessity. I've had a lot of people come in lately clueless looking for the right kind. Apparently, many people don't know the difference between types, which can make it confusing during shopping.

Today's Toy: Lubricant

Lubricants, also known as "personal lubricants" or "lube", are used during sexual activity to decrease friction. People can use them during sex or masturbation, applying them on body parts or toys, to ease penetration or rubbing. I couldn't find when lubes were first used, but I did find this funny video.

Anyone can use lubricants; they are not gender-sensitive, although some variations may appeal more to one sex than the other.

These variations include:

• Water Based: Water based are the most popular kind of lubricant bought because of their "more natural" feel. They don't contain as many chemicals as silicone based ones, and feel more authentic. The pros of using water based are: easy clean up (water and soap), don't stain sheets, less parabens that than silicone based, and safe with all toys and condoms. Cons: Dry up too quickly, contain glycerin so they get sticky. For good water based lubes check out Astroglide, ID Lubricants, Body Action Products, Aqua Lube, Wet Lubricants, Liquid Silk and Honey Lubes.

Here's a hint to make your lube last longer: Just apply water to the lubed area and it'll reactivate. The only reason the lube dries out is the water evaporates from the friction, but the chemicals stay intact until you wash them off.

• Silicone Based: The best way to describe silicone lubes is by saying it's like fucking a silk sleeve/rod.   The pros of silicone based are they last much longer (for every three applications of water based, you use one of silicone) and they don't get sticky. Cons: Harder to remove, stain sheets, can't use with silicone toys, may cause allergies. For high quality lubricant, make sure the first ingredient used is dimethicone. Pjur is a high quality brand from Germany, as most European brands are.

• Oil Based: These also have a slick feel similar to silicone based. Pros: Awesome for hand jobs, has few preservatives/additives. Cons: Increases chances of condom breakage and created holes in latex. K.Y. Jelly and Honey Lubes both produce amazing water and oil based lubricants.

• Fertility: Water based lubricants that are gentle on sperm. Used mostly by couples trying to get pregnant. Here's a list of the best fertility lubes out there.

• Organic: Water based, and low on parabens, organics feel the most like your body's natural lubrication. Aloe Cadabra is an amazing brand that works with your PH balance, doesn't contain parabens or glycerin, and is edible. Sliquid is another good organic brand. Pros and cons are similar to regular water based products.

• Warming: These water based variations have the added feature of heating upon contact. There are no black and white pros or cons to this, it just depends on personal preference.

• Cooling: On the other end of the spectrum, cooling, a.k.a tingling, lubes give the user a chilling feeling. Again, it's all about personal preference.

• Edible: Now these are awesome for head/oral. I don't recommend using them for anything besides that since the excessive amount of glycerin makes them super sticky. Edibles come in a variety of flavors, ranging from fruit, to chocolate, alcoholic beverages, and candy. Honey lube and Sex Tarts are amazing brands. My favorite of the latter is the Green Apple flavor; that shit tastes like liquid candy. A word to the wise: don't go crazy on the application, a little will go a long way. I had to learn the hard way. Oh, and the chocolate flavored edibles, as well as any dark colored ones, taste kind of disgusting. Stick to yellows, greens, and reds.

• Anal-Specific: These come in water based or silicone based mode. They are typically thicker consistency and often include some kind of numbing additive. However, beware of creams that completely numb. Anal hurts for a reason, and if you ever feel any tearing, you should be fully aware. Maximus is an amazing water based product made in London that works for vaginal and anal.

Applying lube depends on what you're comfortable with. Start off with a little bit and then work the amounts up. Applying too much at the beginning might make you feel gooey.

Some lubricants tend to cause allergies, so learn what you can handle and what you can't and shop accordingly. ID Lubricants makes an amazing brand for hyper allergenic skin.

Once you're done getting it on, make sure to wash off any excess lube retained by your body. For the most part water and soap should clean any residue off, but as for your sheets, they might need some extra attention if you used oil or silicone based.

Difficulty to use:

It gets messy, but for the most part usage and clean-up are a cinch!

Versatility:

There's a type of lube for everyone. You just have to know what you are looking or not looking for.

My Rating:

The boyfriend and I both agree on this one: While it does feel good at times, especially when we need it, we like sex better without it. It's more of a, "Hey let's try something different" type of thing.

Boyfriend's Rating:

Baby Squats

Happy Monday, everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful Easter, and continue to have a not-too-prank-filled April Fool's Day. I don't know if I mentioned Michelle's departure from the store due to maternity leave, but she's back and able to do sporadic shifts now. I couldn't be happier to have her back at work, it's been too long! On Friday, she covered Ariana's mid day shift, and she brought a little surprise with her. Little baby Liam! As I've mentioned before, sometimes the store can get pretty boring, so it's always nice to have a little distraction every now and then. Liam hung out for a couple hours, and he even helped me out with my squats :) He seemed to like it, and I'm sure the people walking by the shop were pretty amused to watch someone at the register squatting while holding a two-month old baby.