Toy Tuesday: Nipple Clamps

Hi Guys! I know it's Thursday, but I ended up getting Tuesday off, so I owe you a Toy Tuesday :) So here goes.

Today's Toy: Nipple Clamps

Nipple clamps restrict blood flow to your nipples when erect, causing a mixed sensation between pain and pleasure. These clamps are widely used for BDSM, and are instrumental in "tit torture".

Both men and women can use nipple clamps. They are great for solo or couple/group play. Because they don't go on your genitals, they can be shared between two or more people without being sanitized.

There are three main style of clamps:

• Clothes-pin: Pretty similar to a household clothes-pin. Like many clamps, it often comes with a screw that adjusts the pressure.

• Tweezer clamp: Looks just like a tweezer, 2-4 inches in length. Normally, they will have a rubber sheath over the tips to protect the nipple and prevent slippage. These come with an adjustable screw as well.

• Clover clamp: A.k.a "Butterfly clamp". You can thank the Japanese for this one. It's a flat clamp 2-4 inches in size, and sometimes come with weights or chains attached. They are meant to prevent the wearer from moving and provide a very high pain level, so these clamps are recommended for experienced users only.

Once you've decided what style of clamp you like, there are many variations to each one, like weighted, chained, suction cup, gag and clamp combo, vibrating, metal, clamp and collar set, metallic, decorated, suspender-style, and even rosary-style.

To apply, make sure nipples are erect as this makes gripping much easier, unless you are trying to torture your partner and wish to prevent them from getting hard. The area should be dry and devoid of any oils, sweat, or saliva, as this may cause slipping. To vary sensations, try clamping/un-clamping during intervals, adjust pressure, and/or tug on them. Because your nipples will be sensitive after using them, it will hurt momentarily when taking off.

Like any other BDSM instrument, these toys are meant to teeter between pain and pleasure, however, if the pain is ever two intense, or your nipples go numb, remove the clamps immediately. Do not leave on for more than a few minutes at a time.

Again, because they don't go on your genitals, nipple clamps are extremely easy to care for. Just un-clamp and put away somewhere cool and dry. If you do decide to use them on your naughty bits, remember to clean and sanitize with rubbing alcohol...but really, just go out and buy genital clamps.

Difficulty to use:

Very easy. Open, clamp on.

Versatility:

Try adjusting pressure and clipping on and off. It'll keep you on the edge, or make you cum faster.

My Rating:

Today's rating is based upon Pipedream's Fetish Fantasy Series Limited Edition feather nipple clamps.

To start off, they are absolutely adorable, and much more comfortable than I was expecting. The rubber tips made them easy to wear for a longer period of time, and the adjustable screw was definitely needed since it was my first time using clamps. One of the reasons I hadn't tried nipple clamps before was because they look intimidating  and, frankly, a little scary, but the feathers on these made them look cute, similar to booby tassels. My burlesque alter ego was definitely feeling them; maybe I'll even wear them for a show ;)

As for using nipple clamps in general, I definitely approve. It added a completely different sensation than what I'm used to. At first they felt strange, but once you get used to them they feel amazing. It was especially nice any time I moved around, because they would slightly tug and remind me I was wearing them. Because the stimulation was so strong, I couldn't cum; I was too focused on how they felt, but I'm not complaining! Afterwards, it does sting when you remove them, and your boobs might be a bit sore. Worth it!

Boyfriend's Rating:

He didn't try them on himself, but he loved them! Apparently your girl looks hot in them ;)

Make sure to follow Pipedream on their blog, Facebook page, and Twitter for toy updates.

Bachelor Party

Hi, everyone! Seeing as bachelorette season is coming up pretty soon, I thought I'd share a bachelor-related story that happened to me around this time last year. Among my various musings on Facebook at the time, I posted this status, "If you can post the pictures on FB the next day, you didn't have a good enough bachelor/ette party". I still consider those words true.

Last year, about a month or two into working here, I started working night shifts a lot. One special night, two male sailors and one female sailor came into the shop looking for bachelor party stuff. Pretty standard. I helped them find fun stuff like shot glasses, t-shirts, penis straws, etc. They were all pretty buzzed, which lead to the best man spending $300 for all three of them. This was the first time I had a sale that big so I was pretty excited; little did I know that the ballin' was far from over. At checkout, the drunk redheaded best man asked what I was doing after my shift. Being young and stupid, I told them I wasn't doing anything afterwards, so I got an invite to the bar next door. The groom was pretty hot, so I thought, "fuck it, why not?" I'm wasn't doing anything else, and I was down to have some drunk sailors buy my drinks.

After I got off, they were indeed next door, drinking up a storm. Mr. Big Spender was throwing cash around like it was his job. Shots after shots after shots. A couple hours go by and they asked if wanted to go with them to a strip club. Again, fuck it, why not? I called my boyfriend and asked him to join us at the bar and we all went to a strip club downtown.

Once there, Mr. BS not only paid for our cover, VIP seating, and drinks, but he gave me stripper bucks! I've known this guy for maybe 2.5 hours. He handed me a wad of ones (I'm estimating $300 in singles) and told me to "spend it on anyone I thought was cute". Now my dumb ass actually spent the money. I was stuffing singles down panties like they were vaginal sanitize-rs. It wasn't until I was home again that I could have paid my college tuition instead of some chick named Caramel's. But they did work their asses for it.

Being the exact opposite of frugal, I made it drizzle and got a lap dance from a very nice young lady who taught me some pointers. I burned through those $300 in 10 minutes. So what was I supposed to do? Go home? Well, the party was not having it, and I was promptly given another $300....seriously guys....why didn't I save it?

To wrap the story up, I'll just tell you that my boyfriend and I were getting pretty exhausted (we obviously couldn't keep up with some sailors) so we decided to pack it in and call it a night. We said our goodbyes forever (they were leaving to Japan the next morning. Lord knows how that went), I gave the groom a congratulatory kiss, and then TJ and I went home like we didn't just spend $1200 between the two of us....SERIOUSLY GUYS?? Maybe student loans should have been a priority in that situation.

But it was a fun night, I can't remember half of it, so I'm sure it was amazing. I haven't gone out partying with any of my other customers since then, but I'll admit for a first and last time, it was pretty amazing.

Fetish Friday: Dendrophilia

Damn it's good to be back! How are you guys? I hope you missed me, because I sure missed you guys. What better way to get back into the swing of things than with Fetish Friday? So let's get to it shall we?

Today's Fetish: Dendrophilia

Some of you may have forgotten that today is Arbor Day. Dendrophiliacs definitely haven't.

Dendrophilia is the fetish involving trees. Yup...trees. The word dendrophilia literally translates to "Love of trees", and do these fetishists love their wood.

Sexual attributes associated to nature go far back to ancient civilizations. Greeks venerated dryads, tree nymphs, as gorgeous and desirable beings who copulated with Gods and spawned heroes. Statues, paintings, stories and myths have been used to express their beauty.

There is no explanation or studies that show how people develop this fetish, but there are plenty of sites to help you foster or cure your desire to fuck a bonsai. Apparently, preferences can vary between types of tree, bark, size, age, and the use, or lack of, sap; the sky's the limit for dendrophiliacs.

And as any major fetishist should know, the media loves to trickle these fantasies into the mainstream. So here are some examples of tree-fucking for your entertainment:

• Horror fans will remember Sam Raimi's 1981 cult classic, Evil Dead, and it's graphic tree-rape scene. If you haven't seen the original, you can go see Fede Alvarez's adaptation in theaters now, and I can assure you, this scene still makes me want to sew up my vagina.
• Another arbor-loving classic is, of course, Superstar! Who could ever forget Mary Katherine Gallagher's intense make-out scenes? At 10 years old, that movie changed the way I saw trees forever, and not in a good way.
• Playmate Jenny McCarthy admitted to once forcing herself on a tree while on ecstasy.
• And while we're on the subject of molesting trees, William Shaw, was arrested in 2010 for trying to show a national park's shrubbery his wood.
• Finally, there is no way you haven't seen the video of some girl high on something banging a tree into submission at a music festival. If you haven't, you're in for quite the treat. So what if you hooked up with some random dirty hippie at Coachella in the back of his grimy van? At least you weren't the chick that fought and fucked a trunk in front of dozens of people. And for that, we thank you, gentle Tree-Fucker.

As for random sites with info on dendrophilia, you already know there's a ton. I have found them for you, so you don't have to be the weirdo at work typing in "Tree porn" into your Google bar; although I'm sure you've done it at least once. Once again, you're welcome.

• Here are some images of sexy, sexy trees. (Just look at those branches! I bet her bark's fake anyway.)
• Show your support, by liking this Facebook page, because "Love should not be limited to human beings".
• Don't forget the tumblr pages!
• And what fetish is complete without some erotic literature? This is my favorite.

So thank you, dendrophiliacs, for making my arbor day that much more special. You take the phrase "tree-huggers" to a whole other level. Now, if you feel like maybe ramming an entire oak branch inside you is maybe too intense, here's a website that sells high-quality wooden toys. Don't say I don't treat you right. ;)

Now, go get your kink on!

Youtube won't let me embed the video, but here's a link to a study on dendrophilia

Temporary Hiatus

Hi guys!

I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be going home for a week, so the blog will be on a short break for a week. I'll be back next Thursday with more stories about the store! :)

See you then!

Store Music

So yesterday, the store was slow in the morning as usual, but as soon as an older gentleman walked in, Soasin's "Show me your bootyhole" started playing. This guy shopped during what I titled the "Inappropriate for the workplace" playlist. So here's a list the songs that could never be played at any other business but ours, and we do play them.

Some adorable women in their mid 30s and floral print dresses, shopping for bachelorette supplies, were so excited to hear this song. They said it took them back, Lord knows to what.

Enjoy ;)