Bachelor Party

Hi, everyone! Seeing as bachelorette season is coming up pretty soon, I thought I'd share a bachelor-related story that happened to me around this time last year. Among my various musings on Facebook at the time, I posted this status, "If you can post the pictures on FB the next day, you didn't have a good enough bachelor/ette party". I still consider those words true.

Last year, about a month or two into working here, I started working night shifts a lot. One special night, two male sailors and one female sailor came into the shop looking for bachelor party stuff. Pretty standard. I helped them find fun stuff like shot glasses, t-shirts, penis straws, etc. They were all pretty buzzed, which lead to the best man spending $300 for all three of them. This was the first time I had a sale that big so I was pretty excited; little did I know that the ballin' was far from over. At checkout, the drunk redheaded best man asked what I was doing after my shift. Being young and stupid, I told them I wasn't doing anything afterwards, so I got an invite to the bar next door. The groom was pretty hot, so I thought, "fuck it, why not?" I'm wasn't doing anything else, and I was down to have some drunk sailors buy my drinks.

After I got off, they were indeed next door, drinking up a storm. Mr. Big Spender was throwing cash around like it was his job. Shots after shots after shots. A couple hours go by and they asked if wanted to go with them to a strip club. Again, fuck it, why not? I called my boyfriend and asked him to join us at the bar and we all went to a strip club downtown.

Once there, Mr. BS not only paid for our cover, VIP seating, and drinks, but he gave me stripper bucks! I've known this guy for maybe 2.5 hours. He handed me a wad of ones (I'm estimating $300 in singles) and told me to "spend it on anyone I thought was cute". Now my dumb ass actually spent the money. I was stuffing singles down panties like they were vaginal sanitize-rs. It wasn't until I was home again that I could have paid my college tuition instead of some chick named Caramel's. But they did work their asses for it.

Being the exact opposite of frugal, I made it drizzle and got a lap dance from a very nice young lady who taught me some pointers. I burned through those $300 in 10 minutes. So what was I supposed to do? Go home? Well, the party was not having it, and I was promptly given another $300....seriously guys....why didn't I save it?

To wrap the story up, I'll just tell you that my boyfriend and I were getting pretty exhausted (we obviously couldn't keep up with some sailors) so we decided to pack it in and call it a night. We said our goodbyes forever (they were leaving to Japan the next morning. Lord knows how that went), I gave the groom a congratulatory kiss, and then TJ and I went home like we didn't just spend $1200 between the two of us....SERIOUSLY GUYS?? Maybe student loans should have been a priority in that situation.

But it was a fun night, I can't remember half of it, so I'm sure it was amazing. I haven't gone out partying with any of my other customers since then, but I'll admit for a first and last time, it was pretty amazing.