Funny Porn Quotes 2

Today I made the horrible, HORRIBLE, mistake of shaking someone's hand after they left our arcade. Why would I do such a horrible thing?? I don't know! I don't know. The customer walked out and as he was leaving said, "By the way, my name is Tim", and extended his hand. All my brain could think was "Shake his hand, he'll go away quicker", and then I did the unthinkable. His hands were wet and clammy! Whyyyy??? Why did I do it?! I swear to God there was not enough rubbing alcohol/hand sanitizer to wash the trauma away.

So while I try to erase this from my mind, here are some more porn quotes from the films we play out in the store, while our customers jerk it in the back:

• "Look what you made me do! I came all over your dick."
• *Cums* *Proceeds to opera sing and squirt simultaneously*
• "You gonna show me what a whore likes?"
• "Yeah, squirt hard in my ass!" (This was from some enema porn, where one guy squirted his enema remains onto another guy's asshole)
• "Eat a banana from my ass. Who's your monkey? I'm your monkey, right? You're feeding me bananas. Eat it from my ass" (Same movie, but involved two men, one banana)
• "Stick a banana up my ass! C'mon boy. Let me push it out. Yeah, man" (Not that you can't figure it out, but in this scene one guy sticks a skinless banana into another guy's ass. He then fucks the "monkey" and proceeds to eat the banana that the second guy is now pushing out of his rectum)
• "Want something to drink with that banana?" "Sure, what you got?" *Pisses in mouth* "Mmm, tasty." (I really liked this movie)
• "She wants to be marinated in man gravy"
• "I don't know why boys keep wanting to lick my butthole, but I like it, so it's ok."
• "Woof. Woof"
• "I like to bite lollipops." (Said in a very thick Eastern European accent)
• "Stretch that ass for me!! Yes sir!" (While using an inflatable dong)
• "I like my pussy treated right!"
• (Man walks into threesome) "What are you doing?!" "Mr. Davenport! I was just sorting up these loans."
• "Bury yourself in my hole!!!"
• "He has stars on his cock belt." (Guy is wearing a normal belt)
• "Oh! Look at that technique. Good for you." (Woman cheering a man on while giving her boyfriend head)

For more quotes, check out Funny Porn Quotes 1.