Toy Tuesday: Restraints

Hi Guys! Happy Mardi Gras! Does anyone have any fun plans for tonight? Unfortunately, I won't be go-go dancing at the event this year, but I will be downtown getting people to come in to the bar I work at. Hopefully I still get to see some action. Anyhoo, it's time for Toy Tuesday. Since Valentine's Day is coming up on Thursday, I thought I'd rate a product that works for both sexes. Very couple oriented.

Today's Toy: Restraints

Because nothing is sexier than restraining the one you love while making love to them, so they can't leave, right?

Actually, restraints are a lot of fun to use, as long as you are safe, and trust the person you use them with. These toys are the essential tool for bondage, as bondage is the tying, binding, or restraining of a person for the sexual, aesthetic, and/or psychological pleasure of the parties involved. Restraints are huge in the gay and BDSM communities, and are great for expert and novice bondage enthusiasts.

Restraints are not gender-specific and can be used by anyone, with anyone. There are many, many different types of restraints, including mouth, thigh, neck/face, and full body restraints. I'm going to list the most popular, or common to find, "limb restraints".

• Metal Handcuffs: Depending on the quality of handcuffs, they can be easy, tear-away cuffs that don't require keys, or heavy-duty police-grade handcuffs. The metal tends to bite, so I recommend these to those who are into pain.

• Furry Handcuffs: On the other hand, if you are looking to use handcuffs, but don't want the sting, furry cuffs are the way to go. Some come with faux-fur sleeves that can be removed (which makes clean-up a cinch!), and others come with authentic fur, such as rabbit or mink. Without going too much into the politics, I highly push you to use the faux-fur; they still feel amazing and don't hurt any woodland creatures trying to get it on, themselves.

• Soft Restraints: Soft restraints are the best compromise, especially for beginners, because they still hold you down, but are extremely comfortable. They normally come with velcro closures and velvet or silk linings. They are the easiest to use.

• Under-the-Bed Restraints: These restraints look just like the soft restraints above, but are joined by five tethers that can be placed under a mattress. Although it may seem like a little more work, these restraints are great for people with out headboards or bed posts. You could always just leave them tucked under the mattress and pull out the extensions when needed.

• Silk Pleasure Ties: This is a more luxurious alternative to rope, and, as I've come to learn, is very popular with married women, 30 years and up. These ties are just a simple silk ribbon that can be used anywhere, and sometimes, they even have loops for easier tying (as seen below). Lelo is known for it's luxurious designs; you can find this particular design there.

• Bondage Tape: Bondage tape is for those who want to be tied up tightly, without the pain. This method restricts movement greatly since it is normally wrapped tightly so the person can't slip out. Bondage tape has a great advantage over regular tape since it only adheres to itself; it will not stick to skin, hair, or clothing. A great alternative to bondage tape, if you don't want to spend the extra cash, is Saran Wrap. It works exactly the same.

• Japanese Rope: This is, aesthetically, my favorite form of bondage. The rope normally comes in cotton or silk, and can be fashioned in a number of ways. This method of restraint, as the name says, originates from Japan and has evolved into quite the artform. Fetish models such Dita von Teese have included rope bondage into their portfolio, and there are books that can teach you how to use this medium. I haven't used rope, yet, but I wouldn't be opposed to doing a photoshoot about it sometime in the future.

• Hog-tie: Another Dita shot, hog ties are the "cheat sheet" for Japanese rope bondage. You get the same effect you would with rope, but it is a lot easier to get in and out of. If you've ever lived on a farm, I'm sure you get the gist of this restraint. If not, check the out the Dita von Teese picture mentioned before for a visual.

• Spreader Bar: This is the next restraint on my list of "things I need to use during sex". The image is pretty self-explanatory. I plan on making a full Toy Tuesday about it, when I do eventually use it.

With the amount of products that exist out there for bondage, it would be impossible to list them all, but if you are interested in seeing what else is out there, Pipedream Products has an amazing selection of beginner, intermediate, and extreme bondage fetishists.

When using restraints, remember, the most important part is to remain safe. If you don't feel like you know or trust your partner enough to lose control with them, skip these toys and try something else. Due to all the variations in restraints, each one is used differently, but the main rule is to never tighten too much. Whenever you tie someone up, whether it's with cuffs, ropes, or ties, there should always be enough room afterwards to fit one finger in between the gap. If not careful, this could cut off circulation and become very painful.

Some people, though not everyone, use restraints in order to enact rape fantasies, so this is why I keep reiterating how careful you have to be when using them. It is very easy to lose control and cross the line. When restraining someone, these are good rules to follow:

• Never leave the person, with the restraints on, alone while tied up.
• Have a safe word. Every one has one, and you should too.
• Do not fall asleep with the restraints; they shouldn't be left on for more than an hour at a time, per position.
• Do not tie the person up in a position that restricts their breathing.
• Try to use while being sober. Do not use while on drugs or excessive alcohol as this can impair your ability to judge pain.
• Make sure that in case of an emergency, the person can be freed from their restraints. In order to do this, check that you have the right keys or scissors on hand.
• If you feel any pain, discomfort, or numbing, remove the restraints immediately.

Cleaning depends on the material used for each restraint. This website explains how to clean metal handcuffs very well. If your cuffs have fur, the fake and detachable kind can be washed by hand, while real fur may have special care needs. For cotton and silk ties/ropes, just follow whatever cleaning care the fabric requires. Restraints are a very easy toy to maintain; they are, normally, not in situations that require much cleaning afterwards, and they are made to withstand plenty of abuse.

I think restraints are a ton of fun, as long as you are safe with them. The first time I tried them was with my current (first and only) boyfriend. It's something fun that you can use to quickly up the ante on your sex life. I recommend this for people who have some previous experience with toys, or are open to kinkier options. It's an easy way to be naughty without having to add candle wax, nipple clamps, or whips, not that there's anything wrong with that ;).

Difficulty to use:

In terms of cuffs, ties or soft restraints, it's not the putting on that's difficult. It's the taking off part that you have worry about. When it comes to ropes, I would say difficulty can go up to a 5.

Versatility:

There are so many varieties of restraints that I haven't even mentioned. You can take them anywhere and pretty much use them on anything if you're creative enough.

My Rating: 

I absolutely love them. My only issue with them is, I can't keep them on for too long

This website has good ratings and info on the Japanese ropes.

Boyfriend's Rating:

"Great when used with leg restraints"