Back in January I posted about several strange phone calls I got while working at the shop, as well as stories about Jack off Jason, Erotic Eric, and the Beat off Bandits. For some reason, people love to get freaky on the phone so here are a few more weird phone calls:
- An older man called once asking about our lingerie selection for his wife. He asked if she could come in to try outfits, and wanted to know if he could go into the changing room with her. When I told him he could not, he repeatedly made a point to make sure I understood that she was an exhibitionist and wouldn't mind walking around the store in lingerie. Again, I told him that was not allowed, to no avail. He kept up the exhibitionist excuse and saying she didn't mind doing it. Finally, I just had to let him go.
- One of the funnier calls, and my favorites, were people mistaking our business for something else. Because the store's name, I can't tell you the amount of people calling in to make doctor appointments, or asking for medical attention. One such "customer" called in believing we were a video rental place, and asked for a copy of Die Hard. Once my co-worker and I came back from the 8th grade, we explained why we were laughing. Embarrassed at first, he did get the comedy in ordering Die Hard at a sex shop.
- A very colorful black woman, who I thought was a gay man at first, called asking for a bukkake machine for herself and her husband. The conversation started with, "Who this is? Where you at?" When I asked if she knew what bukkake was she said, "No, but my husband's Japanese and it sounds like something he'll like"....-____- I tried to sell her a Tenga egg instead, but got this response, "What a man need to put a egg on his dick for?" Finally, she decided maybe she should research items before calling in and hug up.
- As I mentioned with Erotic Eric, he liked to hear how big his dick was. Pretty standard stuff, all men like to hear that, or so I thought. An older gentleman called asking what he could do to make his "Two and half inch penis" larger. I suggested a penis pump or enlargement pills, but he did not get it. He continued to point out how small his penis was and asked what an average size was. "6 inches". Again, "Well, mine's only 2.5. Is that small?" Then, he mentioned how horny he was and asked if I suggested doing anything about it. I told him to masturbate and get it over with, because no woman is going to want to have sex with a whole 2.5 inches. After a few more "What do you suggest for my tiny penis?", I realized that he probably took my advice and started masturbating so I quickly said bye and hung up. I do not get paid enough for that shit.
- Finally, I got a call that ended up going in the complete opposite direction. It started off with a shy younger guy calling to get some information. He was so timid, it took a while for him to finally get to his point. Apparently, he made movies and needed to know who he could get in contact with in San Diego. He also asked if we had "the hook up" and what pills could he take to "blow a bigger load". I told him I didn't have the answer to any of those questions, so when he called back, I let the owner deal with that.
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