As I mentioned last Friday, the shop now has a new phone pervert, Erotic Eric. Well, he called originally on Thursday, and again this past Tuesday. Here's a summary and a few snippets from these phone calls:
Note: Before you bombard me with "Why do you talk to him?" "Isn't it weird?" "Why do you lead him on?", listen, it gets boring working here, very boring. Seeing the same images everyday tends to numb you to a lot. Any time something new or exciting happens, I like to, metaphorically, grab it by the balls. I don't engage every pervert that calls, or I'd never get any work done, but when the right one comes along, I'll let them have their fun. From the beginning, I establish rules: No personal information, no meeting in person, if they do come in as a customer, nothing funny or I call the cops. They know that this is strictly an on-the-phone deal. As long as they stick to those rules, I have no problem helping them get their freak on.
Thursday:
So Thursday started off normal enough, with customers either looking for something specific or giggling at everything. It was pretty slow, pretty boring, until Erotic Eric called and quickly changed that. He's always pretty friendly on the phone, and manages to ask me how I'm doing, how my day is going, and if the customers are being nice...all while he's jackin' it. After the usual pleasantries, the conversation turned to him watching porn, in his words, "A blonde walks in on a guy jacking off, and she fucks his dick". He explained that his fantasy was getting caught by someone while masturbating, and I told him that I actually had that happen to me when I was 16. I was walking with friends when I saw a taxi cab driver parked in front of a house masturbating. In turn, Eric told me that he used to park in front of a beauty salon close to home to watch a "totally gorgeous blonde wearing a sundress and no underwear" work. He said he always hoped she would one day see him and tell him to "jerk his dick". He also told me that he's called places before to jack off before, but he won't just call anybody; he sticks to porn shops, because "they should be more open-minded". After asking me for my description, and more mindless chatter, he finally erupted into a very loud cry of, "Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah!", and our conversation was over.
This is what I learned about Erotic Eric:
- He lives by himself in East County
- He's 31 years old
- "Loves" to jack-off. Does so 3-4 times a day, but does not use lube
- When in a relationship, he doesn't masturbate and "saves it all for her"
- His dick is 9 inches long, and pretty thick
- Girls never let him put it in their ass
Tuesday:
Tuesday's conversation was quicker because the store got busy, but this is what I learned about him:
- Wishes we had a video arcade so he could come in and masturbate while I peeked in. He did say he'd do the gentlemanly thing and not cum in the booth, but on himself instead, so I wouldn't have to clean up after him.
- His dick is pretty big and hard
- Wants my girlfriends and me to run into him some day at a club, while he's parked outside and say things like, "Oh my god, shake it faster!". That way he can "go to town beating it and cum everywhere".
- If his dick had a name, it would be Goliath
- He lives in Lakeside
- Has brown hair and brown eyes
- Is 5'6
- Loves to be called "pervert"
and my favorite quotes were:
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