Jack-off Jason

So, finally the time has come to talk about Jack-off Jason. If you remember, I mentioned him briefly in my previous post, Phone Calls. To my parental units: thank you for supporting the blog, but just sit this one out.

Jason was a frequent caller who, for some reason, was only interested in talking to me. The first time he called was back in October; he asked my name, what kind of store we were, our hours, and then he let me know that he was masturbating as we spoke. That first time, I hung up right away and attributed that encounter to the weirdos that frequently prank call. Somehow, I just managed to move on. I guess this only turned Jack-off on because soon his calls became more and more frequent. Same set-up, except now he would introduce himself as "Your friend, Jack-off Jason". For the first few minutes of our conversations, I would humor him and allow him to tell me some of the things he was doing, or answer his questions, but then I'd quickly find some excuse and get off the phone. Well, cue Ariana. Lovely, friendly, trouble-making, up-to-no-good, Ariana.

One Friday night, my dear friend and I were working a shift together, and Jason called. Ariana answered the phone because I recognized the number and didn't want to talk to him. So what does she do? She answers and lets him know that I am there and standing right next to her. Of course I had to talk to him, but when I  handed him back over to Ariana, she continued the conversation and then handed him back to me. At this point, I knew I had to wrap the conversation up, so she and I did what any normal, responsible employees would do: we encouraged his advances over the phone.
I don't remember how long the conversation actually went on, but it was enough to talk about what he was doing, where he was from, what his hobbies and fetishes were; all while this guy masturbated on the other end. He kept the flattery going by telling Ariana and I what beautiful women we were and what he would do to us if he were there. How could he possibly know what we look like? He found us on Facebook of course! I never gave this guy my full name, and my last names are not common. He went to my shop's Facebook page and then searched through all the "likes" to find an Annette, and then found Ariana as my friend. Now he knows our faces...and where we live...and work...and what we do on our time off. However, he somehow, in some strange, I-masturbate-to-your-pictures kind of way, managed to be funny and charming...It had to be the compliments.
Well, now he knows our faces but we didn't know his, so we thought it was only fair for us to see a picture or video of him. He asked if he could send us a video of him masturbating and Ariana said of course. I kid you not, this is what the video consisted of:
Jack-off Jason is sitting on a couch with a very large, very erect penis, and stroking vigorously. He's pretty built but it doesn't show his face at all. Once he's done, we think the video's over, but oh no. Where's the fun in that? A woman's hands come in to view and wipe the spunk away, and it's when the camera zooms away that we see everything. A chubby, pale, red-headed woman with glasses and reindeer antlers is the one cleaning him off. She smiles, waves, says something inaudible to the camera, and then continues to giggle and clean our Jack-off friend clean. After the initial shock of not only there being a camera-person video taping this and a woman to clean him off, but then you realize Jason is sitting naked on a couch during what seems like a Christmas party. There are people walking around in the background and drinking from red Solo cups. To top it off, I'm pretty sure this video was taken in the 90's just by looking at the quality of video.
After watching the video about ten times, we still couldn't figure out anything so we decided to let it go and bid a fond farewell before moving it to the trash folder. By now, Jason was no longer on the phone (I think his dick would have burnt to ashes if he kept rubbing it), but remember, he did find us on Facebook. He began a chat with Ariana since she was the one logged in. He had made a Facebook profile just to chat with us. Since he didn't have a profile picture, we asked him to send us a picture of his face again. He said this could only happen if we sent him a video of us masturbating to his video; needless to say, no picture of Jack-off Jason. Then, he asked us if we would become his lovers, not girlfriends. He offered to take us to the best swingers clubs and buy us the best life had to offer. He said he was sorry, but he wasn't looking for anything serious like a relationship, breaking our hearts in the process. After politely declining, and what seemed like 2 hours of interaction with the Lothario, we decided it was time to end the conversation.
I guess he kept sending Ariana advances through Facebook (which she deserves) for the next couple of days. I told her to let him know that the more he pushed us to join him, the more of a turn-off he was. Finally, after repeatedly rebuffing his attempts, the defeated Casanova and hand-job enthusiast left us with one last gem:
"Before I go, I just need to know. What was the turn off? The hot body, the huge penis or the amazing personality?"

You were just too much man for us Jason.