Monday, January 7, 2013

Phone Calls


Today, I had a man call earlier with questions regarding penis pumps. Pretty standard. Until he began to mention how he had accomplished as much as he could with regular pumps; he needed to switch to the big boys. He let me know that he was able to pump up to 9 inches with his current pumps, but was looking for something to take it up to 12 or 13 inches. He also wanted to know if it was possible to pump literally all day, or if he had to stop after 30 minutes. I had to let this man know that at that point he needed to consult his physician and that he was in danger of popping a blood vessel in his penis if he kept pumping away.

So today, let's talk about strange/interesting phone calls I've had in the past:
  • Definitely the more engaging of my phone calls, was a man who unfortunately doesn't call anymore; apparently, he was a regular right around the time I got hired. This man would call in every few weeks and ask the same questions about circumcision. Nothing perverted or sexual, he just really wanted to know about our opinions on circumcisions. He told me his wife was pregnant with his child and they were trying to decide if they should circumcise the child or not. He asked me what my opinion was from a medical, social, religious, and sexual stand point, and then after 20 minutes on this subject asked me what I would name his child. I guess his wife had the baby because he stopped calling after that.
  • So, I've received strange prank/sex calls at other jobs before, but this was by far the most bizarre (maybe warranted for a mention in Fetish Fridays). During a morning shift, I received a call from a strange man with a breathy voice asking about things in the store. Soon enough, he started asking if I liked milk. That evolved into what kind of milk did I like? Chocolate? Is it hot or cold chocolate? Do you drink it fast or slow? Would you bathe in it? After "would you bathe in it?", and the sounds of this guy grunting, I had to hang up. I don't like milk to begin with, but I don't think I will be drinking it anytime soon either after that.
  • Another phone call that started off normally was in June during a night shift. A young man called  asking about toys he could use to spice up his life with his girlfriend. The conversation was normal enough, and when he mentioned he had friends in the aviation industry, I mentioned my boyfriend was studying to be in the field. After that, again the conversation inexplicably started heating up and became one sided. "So, your boyfriend sounds awesome and you sound amazing. Have you ever tried anything in the store with him? What's your favorite thing to use? You guys sound amazing. You have such a sexy voice. I bet you are an amazing fuck. Have you ever thought about being in a threesome? My girlfriend would love you." Remember, this is a phone call; I have never met this guy in person. After I told him my boyfriend would not appreciate me in a threesome, the chivalrous caller invited him into the party as well promising we would have "so much fun together". After that, I had to hang up; it was too funny and creepy to continue in the conversation. And if you wonder why I would continue such a strange and uncomfortable conversation for so long and let it go so far? Well, I guess it's the trainwreck theory. And hey, if I didn't what kind of stories would I have to tell you now?
  • Last, but definitely not least, is Jack-off Jason. Jason was a frequent caller that was obsessed with masturbating (hence, the nickname "Jack-off Jason", which he gave to himself), and loved to let me know whenever the deed was going down. However, Jason's story is much too long and too fun to explain in one paragraph. So, I'm going to leave you guys hanging on this one and talk about Ariana's and my adventures with Mr. Jack-off Jason some other day.
Ta-ta for now!

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