Ridiculous conversations

Happy New Year everyone!

A woman in her 40s just came in to purchase a jet black realistic vibrator with testicles. As I mentioned before, we have to test any battery operated toys to make sure they work. Now, just because I work at a sex shop doesn't mean I don't have to make small talk with the customers at the register. So while I am groping this silicone dildo to put batteries in it and check its speeds, this woman and I were talking about our plans for tonight, if we are spending it with family or friends and how nice the day is.

So in the spirit of bizarre situation-conversations with customers, I have made a list of ridiculous things we say daily and often to our customers. And yes, these are always said with a straight face:

• "Do you need lubricant or cleaner today?"
• "Just so you know, this can not be inserted anally"
• "No, we do not accept any returns on toys"
• "I'm sorry, we don't have anything that vibrates stronger than that"
• "Our porn is not categorized by actress or title, but I can help you look for something"
• "If you are looking for something to insert anally, always look for something with a flared base"
• "Sorry, kids are not allowed in here"
• "Yes, we do give stripper discounts"