Outside of Work

Hi guys! Sorry I've been so naughty when it comes to updating you daily with my work here at the sex shop. Yesterday, I was terribly sick and didn't even make it in to work; however, I do have a story for you from this weekend. I started a new part-time job a few weeks ago at a bar in Downtown San Diego as a street team girl. Essentially, my job is to stand on a corner and offer free cover to unsuspecting party-goers. Well, on Friday, at the sex shop, I had a man come in and exchange a vibrator he bought for his wife or girlfriend for a new one. Later that night, when I went to work at the bar, I saw this man again with his loved one waiting to cross the street. I wanted to ask if the new toy was up to par, but stopped myself. What if this wasn't the woman he was talking about? What if he was embarrassed? So I just let it go. You would think that this would be awkward or that it doesn't happen often, but this happens to me all the time. I run into my clients out and around my work's neighborhood or in random places like Downtown San Diego. These are some of my encounters:

• My first encounter with a customer outside of work was when I went to the bank to cash a paycheck. Standing two people in front of me, there was a man that I had sold a butt plug to a couple days earlier. He didn't notice me, but I'm sure if he did, the bank line would have been the least of his worries.
• Another customer I see all the time is a goth teen, who skulks around the neighborhood either by himself or with one of his friends. He is very nice but grumpy looking, as all goths are. He came in once to buy a pocket pussy for his friend. Not any pocket pussy, an 8 lb mold of a woman from her belly button to her top thigh with a pussy and asshole. Now whenever I see him, I just wonder if he and his friend Eiffel tower the poor girl in some demented game of sex twister. I can't help it.
• Close to my shop is a nail salon with the sweetest, most efficient nail technicians around; the kind that don't talk shit about you in Vietnamese. Well, now I know that one of these sweet, demure nail technicians like heating lubricant when having sex with their husband. I wonder if she ever takes some of those heating lamps home with her as well.
• Last weekend I ran into another customer Downtown. I would call him a regular, except he doesn't really come in to buy anything, he just accompanies his friend to apply for a job every time. Although, during his first visit he did come in for some supplies. He was looking for some lubricant that would work for anal. I'm not going to lie, he's a douche bag  very rude and pretentious, but I've become used to that lot where I work. I recognized him and his friend Downtown when they bar hopping and said hi. His group was friendly, but he was just not having it. At one point, he mentioned that my phone (essentially a burner phone. No internet, no camera. First world problems, right?) was "the trashiest thing [he] had ever seen". This, coming from a guy who "uses spit" as anal lubricant because "if a girl's worth it, she can take it". The only reason I didn't put him on blast was because I am so nice, but in all honesty folks, here's some advice: You don't fuck with the people that make your food right? Same goes for the people that handle your dongs and know what size condom you use. Be nice to your sex shop workers.
• Lastly, but definitely not least, are my friends. One of the perks of working at a sex shop is I get to help my friends with any relationship or sex issues they may have. I love that they feel comfortable enough to come to me with their questions and issues and I try to help them the best way I can. I definitely won't name names, but I have helped one of my friends introduce bondage to his girlfriend with furry cuffs, helped another friend (who had no idea I worked here) choose the right dildo, and know that one of my previous models (I'm a fashion designer as well) loves candle wax. I know what aids they use with their partners, what lingerie they use, what fetishes their boyfriends have and, thankfully, so far none of them head for the hills when I come around. 

I love whenever I run into people outside of work, because they are either very confused and a bit nervous when they recognize me (especially when they are out with a large group of friends), or they completely ignore that I am even there. Maybe if they ignore me hard enough, I'll disappear.

Listen, I know it's something incredibly private, and most people open up to me about their sex lives because they think I don't exist outside of the shop, but I am a professional. I see everything and have heard some incredible stories. I don't judge; whatever floats your boat. If that turns you on and doesn't hurt any unwilling partners, then go for it! This is why I don't mention names and don't tell you exactly where I work, so people aren't too intimidated into coming. You don't have to ignore me or run for the hills if you see me shopping at Sprouts. I already know you use finger vibrators on your wife, buddy! Don't hide behind the produce!

So what if you buy extra small penis pumps? What's the worst that could happen? You end up on a blog? ...Oh. Wait... Muahaha