Orgy

I think I just had my favorite phone call so far. It started off as usual with a man calling in looking for a product. He just got into the stripping industry and was looking to see if we carried thongs. I let him know about our options and this is pretty much how that went (This is a pretty long post, but hopefully easy to read):

"We carry basic silk thongs in red, blue, black, and white. And we also have novelty thongs."

"How are those?"

"They come with things like zippers, magnifying glasses, animal faces, camo print, tuxedo looks, etc"

"That sounds fun. When I go to a house and strip I can pull that out, and it'd be fun right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"And then I can take them off and just be naked."

"Ok"

"That'd be fun right?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Do they fit a large?"

"I mean, they're one size fits all but they should fit a large"

"Well, I'm fourteen inches when erect."
"Well..."
"Fourteen inches."

"Ok...well, they should definitely fit you."

"Great. Do you know anyone who would be interested in a dance?"

"No, but you can leave business cards here."
"Should I leave naked pictures too?"
"Business cards are fine."

"Cool. Ok. So...I'm going to an orgy this weekend; do you have any toys that you recommend?"

"Well, you could use..."

"There are going to be seven of us."

"There's anal beads..."

"Guys and girls. We're all going to be fucking each other."

"Ok. Well, there are anal beads, vibrators, clit stimulators..."

"Us guys are going to fuck each other."

"I'm going to definitely recommend condoms, especially if there are seven of you."

"Ten"

"Ok, ten of you. More reason to cover up"

"Well, I'm sure everyone's clean so I don't mind if the guys go natural. I've never done anal before. It should be fun."

"Yup."

"So are you married? Single?"

"I'm married."

"Oh!"

"Would you guys be down?"

"What? Ohhh, noooo. No, thank you. I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeahhh. We tried the whole group thing, not for us."

"How many people did you try it with? Was it a threesome?"

"Yeah."

"Two girls or two guys?"

"Two girls."

"Alright. Well you sound awesome."

"Thanks."

"Do you have any friends that might be interested?"

"Noo, sorry."

"Ok, well have a great day. Maybe I'll be in the store later to buy some stuff."

"Ook. Have a nice day."

My job is ridiculous.

Btw, as I was writing this, the UPS man came in and told me about a drug raid that happened next to my store on Tuesday. I guess they arrested a meth head next to the shop. There were sirens, K-9 units, armed cops being sneaky, and I was not aware of any of it. 

Aaah, the glamorous life of a sex shop worker.

Have a good day guys!